My responsibility as a white guy

A sharp Metro State College student asked me about my earlier post on racism during my guest lecture yesterday. He seemed to get the gist of  my story, but I could tell he was confused. I think I was too cute in that post, and I liked my answer I gave him better:

As a white guy committed to social justice, the best thing I can do is help other white guys see they have a role in erasing inequality. I firmly believe that the moment I was born a white male in the U.S., I started down a path much different than the one followed by Barack Obama or by my sisters. “Normal” always lo0ked pretty much like me , my life, my style, my tastes. My sisters didn’t have the sports choices I had, nor the array of things to be when they grew up. I didn’t stick out in a crowd, wasn’t watched with suspicion, and had a middle-class upbringing. I am the product of Austrian ancestors who came to this country freely to work the Leadville mines and who raised families in accordance with the dominant Euro/Christian tradition.

The GI Bill helped my dad buy his first house — as it had for many other, mostly white GIs.  Though we were not rich, the middle-class platform helped me become a first-generation college graduate. Throughout my career, I have mingled well in a society where most decisions still are made by other white males. I do not pretend to know what it is like for people who are not white and male to navigate this tilted playing field, but I acknowledge the tilt and do what I can to even things out.

I’m trying to figure out the language I can use to help my fellow white guys perceive the tilt without being defensive. I know from personal experience that words like “racist” and “white privilege” put us white guys in that fight or flight place.

People hear different things when Jimmy Carter talks of “racism” in the health care debate and when a white cop in Cambridge, Mass., is called a “racist” for arresting a black professor who mouthed off to him. I think most white guys think of white hoods when they hear the R word. I also think they hear people being overly sensitive.

So I suggest the people who are fighting for social justice quit throwing those words around. They carry heavy baggage and they don’t give us white guys anywhere to go but on defense. Rather than name-calling, consider talking about feelings. There’s no reason for a white guy to go into the familiar defensive mode when he hears something like:  ”when I see parents yanking kids out of school to avoid a speech from our President, I take it personally because he is the first president of my race and I’m reminded of all the times people wouldn’t listen to me because of the color of my skin.”

And I suggest my fellow white guys stop telling others that they are being overly sensitive. We cannot know the feelings that are sparked in others nor can we simply tell another to swallow them. I know this is a hard one, guys, but open up to others’ feelings. Nearly all of us have friends who aren’t white and male. Wouldn’t you learn something from them if they shared their feelings?